So, I ordered a neoprene mask for weather protection when I'm on the scooter or moped.  The description was vague and the picture even worse, but the price was right. So, my big mistake was opening this in front of my most annoying (but lovable) cat.

 

"Oh, gearing up for Dia de los Muertos, eh?"  I had to laugh.  She was right this time.  "You only have 10 months to go...no wonder you scored a great deal."

 

"It looks like a joke, you are never going to really ride with that are you?  You might be mistaken for a Luchador."  The cat knows that I like watching Lucha Libre so that was a barb.  What I like about Lucha Libre, it that it breaks down the wrestlers by weight catagory, so that some of the smaller guys are really very athletic.  Much more entertaining than the U.S. counterparts where we have two weight catagories:  Super Heavyweight...and...uh...Super Heavyweight (I think steroids are mandatory).

 

Well, I work in the tech sector where job security is unheard of.  I should have a back-up profession lined up.  Maybe Lucha Libre isn't such a bad idea.  I shared my thoughts with my feline friend & got the usual disgusted indifference.  "You're 52."

"Who will know when I change my name & wear a mask?"

 "Talk to me after your get body-slammed to the matt.  Maybe they can start a seniors' division with a mortician at ringside." 

 

 

So, I needed some help with a Luchador name & found it at the gansta name generator (http://gangstaname.com/) where they have names for Mexican wrestlers as well.  I was raised in the California public school system, which means I have two years of elementary Spanish.  When I have gone to Mexico, I have found that "Cerveza fria, por favor" got me what I needed 90% of the time (no, they didn't teach me that in school).

 

So the name generator tells you to type your name in & it will give you your lucha libre name.  So, I typed in Joseph B. Metz.  It came back with "Turbo Muerto".  Oooh.  Sounded cool...macho.  Like "quick death".  Well, the machine translator came up with "I disturb dead person".  Great.  Lost someting in the translation.  So I tried Joe Metz and it came back with "Chile Violente".  One on-line translator gave me "Chilie Violate you".  That didn't cut it either.  So, I finally tried my full name, Joseph Bernay Metz and it came back with "Rey de la Noche".  Most of the translators on-line agreed this is "King of the Night".  Just sounds too noble.

 

So, I go back to the first option (Turbo Muerto).  There are several websites that will conjugate Spanish verbs for you, so it quickly becomes obvious that "turbo" is the first-person (singular) present for the infinitive "turbar", "to disturb".  So how about "Turbo los Muertos"?  I think that would be, "I disturb the dead".  But the on-line translators aren't any help at all.  It's a shot in the dark.  Obviously, the machines have their limitations.  Good Luck.