Okay, I wake up at an "ungodly" hour of the morning to find this cat (possessed by demons) perched on my chest.

 

"Good Morning", she says cordially.

"What time is it?", is all that comes to mind.

"3 AM"

"Can't this wait?  My alarm goes off at 4.  3:30 should have been okay."

 

"My time is important.  It's more important than your sleep.  I needed to make sure we had time aplenty", she said arrogantly.

 

"Okay, what wild-hair is it this time?"

 

"I'm born again" Beare proclaimed.

 

"Convince me."

 

"Well you left the TV on & I got to witness people say the same thing and -- voila!  They became enlightened beings!

 

"Do you feel enlightened?"

 

"Well, no, I don't think so" , she confessed.

 

"Okay, if I were islolated in a room with a myna bird for a few years, I could teach it to say 'I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Saviour.'  Do you think the bird would be enlighted?"

 

"Well, maybe not." she said tentatively.

 

"You make my point for me.  Words are easy.  Liars are a dime-a-dozen and desperate people surround us.  A radiacal change may come with an emotional moving exeperience and a scripted line given to them by a televangelist, but their deeds will ultimately decide.  You didn't use my charge card to buy one of those expensive 'dontation' Bibles did you?

 

"Uh.  No, it was the dog."

 

"I'm going back to sleep.  It's only 3:30."

 

As is common, my cat woke me up Sunday.

 

"You know, Andy Warhol said 'In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes'", she observed.

 

"Yes, it is quoted often", I acknoledged.

 

"And I'm sure you know that Gordon Moore said that the number of transistors on an integrated circuit will double every two years", she went on to say.

 

"Yes.  Moore's Law.  The exponential principle is attributed to nearly every application related to electronics -- the internet, cell phones, etc."

 

"Well", she continued, "let's say that two met at cocktail party".

 

"Can we make it a 'Beer Summit'?"

 

"No.  Warhol died in '87.  The 'Beer Summit', did not exist yet.  So, let me continue.  If Warhol had chatted with Moore, he would have realized that by the year 2012, everyone would be famous for only 15 nanoseconds."

 

"I don't trust your math.  You can either crunch the numbers again or eat dry food for a month -- choice is yours."

 

"Sorry, my efforts were thwarted because I was using a Mayan Calendar.  I tried to extrapolate beyond, but I confess that it may have been an educated "guesstimate" beyond 2012".

 

"I apprecate you honesty, I will  re-instate the canned food & retract my threat about 30 days of dry food."

 

"Sucker'.